


I miss you. Why did you have to go?

by MackaroonieAndCheese



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: M/M, Sad times are ahead, evan has nobody to be with lmao, luke and delirious are brothers, ohm doesnt appear because of something idk its up to yall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-06 22:37:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8772175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MackaroonieAndCheese/pseuds/MackaroonieAndCheese
Summary: In which Jonathan can't help but cry too much to the extent of feeling really numb. And constant remembering why. And the only reason he leaves his room is because of what Luke does to convince him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is shorter than the Do You Have A Lighter? one that I wrote because s c h o o l. Hope you liked it anyways. Lmao.

Nothing can be heard.

But the sound of his own heartbeat.

8 months.

And counting...

That's how long he's been gone.

Jonathan stares at his navy blue wall. Mind blank.

Nothing in his mind.

Audible, loud knocks can be heard from Jonathan's door.

'33 knocks this week... probably the fewest yet...'

"Go away." Jonathan's raspy voice yells.

"Jonny... this isn't healthy for you. Come on." Luke's concerned voice says through the door.

"Leave me alone!"

"Jon I-"

"I said leave me the fuck alone!"

Then silence follows shortly after.

Then footsteps grew softer.

 

Jonathan unlocks his phone and goes through his gallery once more.

It pains him to look through the precious memories he had with Bryce.

But what else can he do when he's lost the sunshine in his life? He knows Bryce doesn't deserve it. He never did.

But Jonathan never knew either.

He found out only when it was too late.

 

Jonathan stares at one of the selfies Bryce took. At this point, he feels too numb to even cry.

He feels too numb to do anything.

It pains him to even put on a smile.

He hasn't left his room to talk to anyone. Occasionally, he would leave his room to go to the bathroom. But nothing passed that. He'd barely eat anything.

 

Loud and audible knocks can be heard once again.

"Who the fuck is it now?" Jonathan mutters under his breath.

"Jonny?" A calm voice calls out.

"Who the fuck are you?" Jonathan yells.

"It's Evan... Luke called me..."

'Why is he here.'

"Go away! I don't wanna go outside!"

"Jonny please... the guys are worried."

"Let them be! I lost all care the moment I lost Bryce..."

"Please Jon..."

"Leave me the fuck alone!"

 

Soft voices can be heard outside the door.

Then silence once more.

Jonathan glances back to his phone. Looking through the album labeled 'Bryce and I ♡♡♡'

Jonathan never knew it would end like this. He skimms through the very first photo they had together.

It was taken at PAX...

Suddenly, memories started to come back to him. He didn't want it to... but it did anyway...

 

_"Bryce. Thank you..." Jonathan says through tears._

_"Why? I didn't get you anything." Bryce says sadly, looking down at the present Jonathan got him._

_"You didn't need to get me anything... I'm already happy, because of you. Because you came into my life. Because you became the sunshine to my dark days." Jonathan says with a bright smile._

_~~~_

_"Bryce?!?!" Jonathan yells, frantically shaking the fragile and unconscious body of his boyfriend._

_Jonathan quickly rushes downstairs and grabs the wireless telephone and calls for 911._

_~~~_

_"I'm sorry... we tried everything. But we couldn't find out what was wrong with him." The doctor tells me sadly._

_"Are... are you really sure? Did you recheck everything?!" Jonathan yells._

_"Yes, sir, I have. But we really couldn' find anything. Upon searching for what was wrong with him, all we could conclude was that he wouldn't live past a month. I'm sorry." she explains._

_"You've got to be fucking kidding me! Nononono. I can't lose him..." Jonathan yells, tears streaming down his cheeks._

_"I'm very sorry." she says, "Sir, what are you to him?"_

_"His..." Jonathan sniffs. "his boyfriend..."_

_"I see. I'll allow you to stay here by him. Goodnight sir." she says then leaves the room._

_Jonathan sits on the chair beside bryce's bed._

_Bryce starts to wake up._

_Jonathan grabs Bryce's hand. "H-hey Bryce..." Jonathan shakily says._

_"Jonny? What's wrong with me?" Bryce asks worriedly._

_"They... they don't know. All..." Jonathan starts to tear up again. "all they know is that you wouldn't last past a month._

_"Well... let's make it the best month of our life." Bryce says, smiling proudly, as if he wasn't gonna die._

_~~~_

_"You told me ge was going to last for a fucking month! Not two-fucking-weeks!" Jonathan yells at the doctor._

_"Sir... I-I'm sorry. This was very unexpected." she says._

_~~~_

_Jonathan runs the moment the funeral ends. He doesn't want to be there anymore._

_Luke yells his name._

_But Jonathan doesn't turn back._

_He takes Luke's car and drives himself home._

_He doesn't care. He doesn't want to anymore..._

~~~

Loud, heavy, and short knocks can be heard. Jonathan snaps back to reality.

"Hey Jon... we're visiting Bryce again today. We're also going now. You coming?" the voice of his brother coming through the door.

"Yes... please..." Jonathan quickly says. He pulls his hood up, takes his phone. Takes a deep breath.

Slowly, opens the door and leaves his room.

Luke immediately pulls Jonathan into a hug.

"Don't fucking hug me." Jonathan growls then coughs.

"Sorry man. I'm just glad you're coming. You never went us to visit Bryce anymore." Luke says.

"He's been gone for eight months." Jonathan mutters.

"You've always went with us for the first six months... then you just stopped wanting to go. For no reason."

"I want to change. Move on. Like Bryce wanted me to."

Luke smiles. "That's good to hear. Come on. Let's go."

~~~

"Flowers in the car?"

"The usual sunflowers and white roses."

"Good."

Jonathan smiles a little. He thinks about Bryce. But the good memories this time. The good times they had.

"Hey Jonny?"

Jonathan glances to his brother as they get in the car.

"Glad to see you smiling again."

~~~

Jonathan gets out of the car. As does Luke. They both take out the bouquet of flowers. Bearing white roses and a few sunflowers.

They meet up with Evan and Brock at the grave.

"The rest couldn't come along because they had work." Brock says.

"Jonny." Evan quietly says.

Jonathan stares at him. "What?"

"Glad to see you out of your room after 2 months."

"Shut up. I wanna change."

~~~

"Bye Brock! Bye Evan!" Luke half-yells as he waves to the two. Waving as well. Then walking to their car. Heading home.

"Come on Jonny." Luke says.

"Wait in the car. I'll be there. I want to say a few things since I didn't get to eight months ago." Jonathan replies.

"Whatever you want man." Luke says with a shrug and walks away.

 

Jonathan sits down on the grassy ground and faces Bryce's grave.

"Bryce... I miss you. Why did you have to go?" Jonathan quietly says. "But at this point... I guess it was inevitable."

He breathes in deeply. Then out. He holds back his tears.

"I still remember what you told me a day before you were gone. 'Whatever happens to me after 2 more weeks. Move on. For me. I can't bear to see you cry. I want you to be happy. For my sake. I love you.' I miss you Bryce. So much. And I will. I'll move on. I'll be happier. For your sake. I have to go now. Luke's waiting for me in the car... until next month Bryce."

Jonathan gets up. Smiles, while looking down on the grave.

He will keep his promise to Bryce.

He heads back to Luke's car.

And goes home happier than when he first left.

**Author's Note:**

> How'd that go for yall thats reading? :")
> 
> : ^ )


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